Why is it that it can be hardest on the mom to see her kids growing up? Does this happen to everyone? Or I wonder sometimes if it is just me...
I see my three kids growing up before my very eyes...and I am one great big "mother hen". I love to know where my kids are and what they are doing - and I truly enjoy being involved in their day-to-day lives.
So...it's been a bit of a transition for me to take some baby steps in learning to "let go" of my kids. I'm guessing most of you might read this and think I am completely crazy...because the things I am talking about are really NOT that "big of a deal"...but sometimes the "little things" can really be the "big things"...it's just that you don't totally notice them until they have passed by. Like, when did your kids stop calling you "Mommy" and start calling you "Mom"? Mine still do use both terms...but when exactly did that all start?
From the moment Madelynne was born, almost 8 years ago, I knew deep within my heart that this motherhood "thing" was what God had called me to do...and I felt such a weighty responsibility!!!
This summer, we've been visiting a lot of parks (in fact, I briefly lost my camera at one of them!). The kids have gotten to be almost completely independent in their play (some of you are probably saying...OF COURSE they are...the are 7, 6, and 4!)...but, so much of my "mom-role" has been to be their helper! I am also the person who has actually had the fleeting thought that the kids might be safer on the playground with a helmet! There are lots of sharp corners...and they are often aiming head-first into something anyway...
*SIGH*
Seriously though, my point being...it is a bit strange to sit back, relax, and just WATCH the kids play. Don't get me wrong...it's NICE...but it is just different!
The girls have been attending Elementary SPA (Summer for Performing Arts) at one of the local high schools (where my husband teaches during the school year). They absolutely LOVE it...and have enjoyed this experience with their good friends, Kylie & Mackenzie. My husband has teased me a bit, as this really is the FIRST thing I have sent the girls to on their own...it is every day, for an hour-and-a-half, and I have dropped them off every day for the past two weeks! They have attended LOTS of other activities: dance, gymnastics, swimming lessons, Vacation Bible School, MOPS, etc - but I have always been there...either watching or teaching! So, it has been another small "growing pain" for me to drop them off into the care of other adults (whom I don't know!) - but, like I said, they have thoroughly enjoyed it and have a performance on Friday that they cannot WAIT for me to see!!! And I can't wait to see it, either. I'm so thankful for what a positive experience this has been for them.
Finally, this weekend, the girls got their ears pierced. Jason's mom was in town and had given Chloe some birthday money...which I used to get her a few things she needed (like a bike helmet, a shirt, and a new dress) and a few things she didn't really need (a pair of "swim Barbies" - she LOVES Barbies!) and then I set some of the money aside to use for her to get her ears pierced. And, how could we let one sister get her ears pierced and not the other? So, we brought both of the girls to the mall this weekend. They were SO excited...yet nervous, too. I'm sure you can tell from the pictures...I thought Madelynne looked just ill - poor little thing - but she was a trooper! Chloe was OK until the actual piercing...then she had some tears. But they only lasted a few minutes. Now they are just tickled pink to have their own earrings...and they are SO excited to show off their "bling" as flower girls in my brother's upcoming wedding!
So...it's been a bit of a transition for me to take some baby steps in learning to "let go" of my kids. I'm guessing most of you might read this and think I am completely crazy...because the things I am talking about are really NOT that "big of a deal"...but sometimes the "little things" can really be the "big things"...it's just that you don't totally notice them until they have passed by. Like, when did your kids stop calling you "Mommy" and start calling you "Mom"? Mine still do use both terms...but when exactly did that all start?
From the moment Madelynne was born, almost 8 years ago, I knew deep within my heart that this motherhood "thing" was what God had called me to do...and I felt such a weighty responsibility!!!
This summer, we've been visiting a lot of parks (in fact, I briefly lost my camera at one of them!). The kids have gotten to be almost completely independent in their play (some of you are probably saying...OF COURSE they are...the are 7, 6, and 4!)...but, so much of my "mom-role" has been to be their helper! I am also the person who has actually had the fleeting thought that the kids might be safer on the playground with a helmet! There are lots of sharp corners...and they are often aiming head-first into something anyway...
*SIGH*
Seriously though, my point being...it is a bit strange to sit back, relax, and just WATCH the kids play. Don't get me wrong...it's NICE...but it is just different!
The girls have been attending Elementary SPA (Summer for Performing Arts) at one of the local high schools (where my husband teaches during the school year). They absolutely LOVE it...and have enjoyed this experience with their good friends, Kylie & Mackenzie. My husband has teased me a bit, as this really is the FIRST thing I have sent the girls to on their own...it is every day, for an hour-and-a-half, and I have dropped them off every day for the past two weeks! They have attended LOTS of other activities: dance, gymnastics, swimming lessons, Vacation Bible School, MOPS, etc - but I have always been there...either watching or teaching! So, it has been another small "growing pain" for me to drop them off into the care of other adults (whom I don't know!) - but, like I said, they have thoroughly enjoyed it and have a performance on Friday that they cannot WAIT for me to see!!! And I can't wait to see it, either. I'm so thankful for what a positive experience this has been for them.
Finally, this weekend, the girls got their ears pierced. Jason's mom was in town and had given Chloe some birthday money...which I used to get her a few things she needed (like a bike helmet, a shirt, and a new dress) and a few things she didn't really need (a pair of "swim Barbies" - she LOVES Barbies!) and then I set some of the money aside to use for her to get her ears pierced. And, how could we let one sister get her ears pierced and not the other? So, we brought both of the girls to the mall this weekend. They were SO excited...yet nervous, too. I'm sure you can tell from the pictures...I thought Madelynne looked just ill - poor little thing - but she was a trooper! Chloe was OK until the actual piercing...then she had some tears. But they only lasted a few minutes. Now they are just tickled pink to have their own earrings...and they are SO excited to show off their "bling" as flower girls in my brother's upcoming wedding!
On a positive note, Lukas has been going to bed MUCH better each night - we do think the sun and outdoors have been a major HELP in that area...but we will take all of the help we can get!
And...just to remind me that my kids aren't ALL that "grown up"...my eldest decided to pitch a 30-minute FIT tonight (she was fighting with her dad about conditioner, of all things). I guess fits can happen at any age...but it still reminded me that even though I see my kids growing up quickly...they are still little!
And...just to remind me that my kids aren't ALL that "grown up"...my eldest decided to pitch a 30-minute FIT tonight (she was fighting with her dad about conditioner, of all things). I guess fits can happen at any age...but it still reminded me that even though I see my kids growing up quickly...they are still little!
5 comments:
OH yes...the learning to "let go"...you know that I am right there with you in the struggles in that way!! Motherhood just involves ALL of who we are, doesn't it???
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and struggles with this all!!
AND...cute pics of the new earrings! I know how excited your girls were to get this done!!! They look adorable...as always!! :-)
Love ya!
I have to admit, right now I am looking forward to my kids being a little bit more independent and playing on their own. But it's always sad to see them growing up!
Carlies Dad & I took her to the mall and had hers done when she was about 6 or 7 months old. They put her on my lap so I could hold her head still against my chest. The girl at the shop had done little kids before and had 2 "guns" loaded and ready to go so as fast as I could turn her head we were done! She cried, but by the time her Dad paid the lady, she was fine.
Now at the ripe old age of 5, it's all about earings that match the hair bows, that match the socks...
A bit of Mom advice...when they have healed enough to start changing out the earings, rub a little Ambisol on their earlobes because they will be very tender for a few months. It's numbs just like in their mouths & is an anti-septic just in case.
Congradultions to all 3 {!} of the big girls!
Linda J.
It was nice to read that another mom has similar feelings. Sometimes I feel that parents look at me with a 'let go of them already' thought. My boys are 8 and this was the first year I let them be in vbs without me or a family member with them every day. I was right down the hall in crafts though and checked in on them a few times. I feel like this is the guaranteed time I have with them-the younger years and I should make the most of it. Right now they want my attention but there is going to be a day they won't so much. One of my sons started calling me mom last summer, it was bitter sweet,I remember exactly when he made the switch. His brother still calls me mommy. I think it's great that you go at a pace that feels right to you!
blessins'
Shayne Louree
Lori,
I also identify with the mom feelings! I remember crying on the way home from moving Aaron to his college dorm -- and he was just at the U of M!! Moving Josh to SD School of Mines last summer wasn't as traumatic for me. Not that it was easy, but he was so ready to be "on his own"! So the letting go is certainly a thing that happens in stages. No wonder moms cry at weddings!!
Tell Madelynne & Chloe I look forward to seeing them wearing their earrings!
Aunt Lindsey
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